This article explores our attitude and how it affects our gratitude. We can learn to be thankful every day for something in our lives.
Gratitude – what is it?
Gratitude is defined as the quality of being thankful, readiness to show appreciation and returning kindness. Does this describe you? I know it doesn’t always come close to describing me.
On my worst days, I don’t feel all that loving and definitely not thankful. “Why did he feel he could pull right in front of me and cut me off in traffic?” or “Why would she say such a hurtful thing to me?”
And I know there are times when I sound ungrateful, especially when I’m having a pity party because my day wasn’t what I’d hoped it would be.
My feelings get hurt just like yours do. Sometimes I hold a grudge just a little bit longer than I should. I give people who have wronged me the “stink eye”. You do that too, don’t you? The funny thing is, other people rarely “get it” and apparently just figure we have something in our eye.
Honestly, it took me a while to figure out I can’t control what people do in traffic or what people say to me. All I can really control is how I respond to those situations. And guess what . . . it isn’t an overnight change . . . at least it hasn’t been for me.
How Does Gratitude Fit In?
So what’s the answer?
The answer to a bad attitude, feeling sorry for ourselves, being angry about something someone has done or said to us is . . . wait for it . . . GRATITUDE.
Are you kidding me? I can almost hear you saying, “This lady is crazy. There’s nothing I can be thankful for when I’m angry.”
You may very well feel that way. But, I tell you the truth, gratitude truly is the answer.
Develop an Attitude of Gratitude
It seems gratitude is all the “rage” right now. See what I did there? : )
Everywhere I turn, I see reminders we should be thankful for things we have, things we are able to do, people we know and love, and for God’s grace and mercy. But, just how do we go about changing our anger to being thankful?
We must develop a new habit, the habit of being grateful.
New Habits versus Old Habits
Have you ever tried to break an old habit? It’s really hard, isn’t it? Our minds and bodies remember the old habit. We don’t even have to think about it because it’s become second-nature. Maybe it’s speeding . . . or being angry all the time . . . or how we hit the golf ball into the water – every stinking time! Some of those are more personal than others, obviously. (wink, wink).
Instead of trying to get rid of all our old habits at one time, perhaps we can start a NEW habit. Starting a new habit is sometimes easier than getting rid of an old one. The new habit gradually becomes a little easier as time goes on. Sure, we have to keep repeating the new activity until it becomes a habit, like for 28 days . . . but sometimes the new habit begins to take over some of the old ones. For example, instead of speeding, set your watch 10 minutes ahead and leave early for every appointment. Or when someone is rude to you, try the old trick of counting to ten (slowly) before responding. It’s funny how long ten seconds is. Sometimes, during that ten seconds, the other person actually calms down and realizes they said something hurtful. You might get an apology before you even have to respond.
When you realize you’re feeling angry or frustrated or depressed, think of something for which you are grateful. Anything. A bird singing. The beauty of a sunset. A good memory of the person with whom you’re so angry right now.
Start a Journal
Where am I going with this? Start a list of things with which you’re blessed. This is the best way to develop an attitude of gratitude. Write something down every day for which you are grateful. At first, think about the big things . . . your family, your home, your transportation. When you run out of big things, you may have to get a little more specific, but keep at it.
When you’re angry someone cut you off on the way to work, thank God you’re on the way to your job. It may or may not be your ideal job, but you have one. Many people don’t even have the option of working today. They may not have a job or the skills you have. Perhaps they are disabled or live in a small town where there are NO jobs. You are blessed.
When you’re frustrated at having to do laundry, stop and thank God you have clothes that get dirty when you’re working or having fun with the kids. Some people don’t own 54 changes of clothing – they only have only the clothes on their backs. They don’t have the luxury of having several pairs of jeans or tennis shoes. More t-shirts than you can count. You are blessed.
When you don’t like your choices for dinner as you check out the freezer, stop and thank God that you have a freezer, that you’re able to purchase food to put in it. So many people in the world have no idea where their next meal is coming from. They might not even remember the last time they ate a meal. You are blessed.
Get a journal and sit down each day – at the same time each day, if you can. Put on soft music if you need to or just sit silently as you think about all the good things in your life. Feelings of gratitude will begin to come more consistently, eventually beginning to push out the feelings of disappointment and anger.
Benefits of journaling
Gratitude journaling is quite popular now. Many coaches and consultants use them to help people improve their health and lives. Journals can help improve both your mental and physical health. If you are considering gratitude journaling, just know it could help you in developing your attitude of gratitude. Gratitude journaling is actually very low cost and fairly simple.
You will need some things to make journaling more fun and practical.
Writing implements
Obviously you can just use a pen or pencil. If you would like to be creative and have a little more fun with it, try adding color and/or texture. Use different colored pens or pencils. Draw on the pages, create doodles, whatever feels creative to you.
Notebook
What are some options for your Gratitude Journal? You can:
- make your own notebook by using loose leaf paper and inserting it in a binder
- purchase blank spiral binders from the store
- get a special formatted gratitude notebook.
You will know exactly where you are going to write each day, it keeps your entries in the same place and allows you to review your previous gratitude entries.
Your notebook can be a plain and simple one. You can decorate one yourself. Purchase a journal specifically designed as a gratitude journal that includes prompts for those days when you can’t think of anything to write. Whatever you choose, make it your own. As you write positive thoughts inside it and decorate it to YOUR liking, you’ll feel happy and proud as you go back and review. The Secret: This keeps you going, especially when you’re having a hard day, week, month or year.
Time Alone
Take a time-out away from disturbances to write in your gratitude journal. Give yourself time and space to think, relax and write. You may even grow to enjoy the experience of being alone and celebrating those things you are thankful for.
When you write, pick one thing and write about it. You might choose a particular event. As you take the time to write, describe it in detail. Why are you thankful for it? How did you feel at the event? Remember as many details as you can.
Think about people for whom you are thankful. Why are you thankful? Write about this. Your details create a greater emotional impact. It becomes more personal.
Include surprises and unexpected events that occur in your life. These also create a stronger sense of gratitude and they have more significant emotional impact.
Bottom Line about Journaling
There’s no “right” way to keep a gratitude journal. There are no wrong ways, either. Yours will be different from mine. It will be different from anyone else’s.
Key Point: It is important that you are committed to the process and the outcome, and that you make time for it on a regular basis.
As you continue on this journey, you will find your attitude changing as you begin to be thankful for more and more things in your life, in your world.